It’s as though your mother and dad stood up as the “This is how it REALLY IS,folks” of a whole generation. The war was over but not the battles. Your Parents were impossibly, heroically fearless. I know it reads as horrendous but you KNEW. Who they were. How you could wiggle a life around it. The rest of us were squirming under a leaden pile of appearances that smothered us. My mothers’ high heels clacking across the kitchen floor as she made dinner and hated it. My father, hiding out in the garage in a five gallon plastic bucket, drinking welches grape juice and vodka until he stumbles off to bed, mother waiting seething on the couch, cigarette flopping as she knitted yet another mohair blanket that the cats ripped up. I envy your childhood, the club of your siblings, outright loving one another, Your mother’s funeral, your fathers remark”I didnt know what else to do”…their integrity, “guess what, this is who I am” opened the door that set you free. Stephen this is the most wonderful story and should be a book. But you know.
Thank you, Jane. This is a beautiful breakdown of it all. I so appreciate your take on the wild ride, that continues. Yes, a book of essays should be coming soon.
Oh Stephen, this is so tender in all of its details, its structure and the telling of it. I feel like I know your dad through this and your other stories. (I know that nurse, too, I think: the one who sees everything - and lets you know it - without looking up.) I'm gonna have to figure out how to use that expression "work mule." As for Sabeth's comment about your expansive talent, I'm thinking maybe it's "bursting at the seams" like your stretch skinny pants... but with none of the embarrassment.
Thank you, Meg. That's really kind of you. Thank you. I love that you said you feel like you know my dad. That's part of the mission with all of these, to keep my parents alive and even to introduce them those that didn't know them while they were here.
Great story Stephen. You captured every detail and like Diane said, even Dad's voice! I still have some of those rolled up plans from his office. I finally found someone that can use them!
Growling Dad's voice is what is most fun about these stories. I've got some plans too. Hoping to frame one day, right? Thank God Shawn still has his drawing table.
Thanks Wes. That's a great description...his final statement and message. He had a few in those last days. Another one was: "No one wins a war..." That stuck with me. Thanks for listening and being a part of all of this, Wes.
Stephen, you have such an expansive talent! By that I mean that the talent in you is bursting at the seams like the rolled-up plans and other arcane effluvia in your father's office. Thank you for sharing a tender portrait of a beloved parent. Sonny, you GOT it!
Thank you, Sabeth. Dad could have such a rough exterior, but in truth was so sensitive. As I mentioned above, it's been fun to introduce so many people to my parents who never knew them, and also to keep them alive. Thanks for your kind words.
After Art looked at the things we were putting in bags we sneakily dropped off some of the bags in dumpsters before they got to the house. He never knew he never missed them and still the garage was half full of bag.
I remember. It felt like we were just throwing things overboard of a sinking ship! I relate somehow...I have some of those traits of wanting to HOLD ON!!!
Every time I heard you imitate your Dad it sounded just like this. Feeling grateful to know you and be witness to some of your story, and to watch you succeed over and over. God DAMN it you are talented. Keep creating.
Thank you so much, Jennifer! Truly!
Great piece of writing. Period.
Thank you, Jane!
It’s as though your mother and dad stood up as the “This is how it REALLY IS,folks” of a whole generation. The war was over but not the battles. Your Parents were impossibly, heroically fearless. I know it reads as horrendous but you KNEW. Who they were. How you could wiggle a life around it. The rest of us were squirming under a leaden pile of appearances that smothered us. My mothers’ high heels clacking across the kitchen floor as she made dinner and hated it. My father, hiding out in the garage in a five gallon plastic bucket, drinking welches grape juice and vodka until he stumbles off to bed, mother waiting seething on the couch, cigarette flopping as she knitted yet another mohair blanket that the cats ripped up. I envy your childhood, the club of your siblings, outright loving one another, Your mother’s funeral, your fathers remark”I didnt know what else to do”…their integrity, “guess what, this is who I am” opened the door that set you free. Stephen this is the most wonderful story and should be a book. But you know.
Thank you, Jane. This is a beautiful breakdown of it all. I so appreciate your take on the wild ride, that continues. Yes, a book of essays should be coming soon.
Studs Terkel could have written a book about your father. You've done the next best thing - a great love letter to your father.
Wow. I love that Brian. Thank you.
Oh Stephen, this is so tender in all of its details, its structure and the telling of it. I feel like I know your dad through this and your other stories. (I know that nurse, too, I think: the one who sees everything - and lets you know it - without looking up.) I'm gonna have to figure out how to use that expression "work mule." As for Sabeth's comment about your expansive talent, I'm thinking maybe it's "bursting at the seams" like your stretch skinny pants... but with none of the embarrassment.
Thank you, Meg. That's really kind of you. Thank you. I love that you said you feel like you know my dad. That's part of the mission with all of these, to keep my parents alive and even to introduce them those that didn't know them while they were here.
Great story Stephen. You captured every detail and like Diane said, even Dad's voice! I still have some of those rolled up plans from his office. I finally found someone that can use them!
Growling Dad's voice is what is most fun about these stories. I've got some plans too. Hoping to frame one day, right? Thank God Shawn still has his drawing table.
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Love the pics of your Dad too!
Well done! Love the tribute and memories of your Dad and the final statement and message from your Dad. Wonderful as always brother
Thanks Wes. That's a great description...his final statement and message. He had a few in those last days. Another one was: "No one wins a war..." That stuck with me. Thanks for listening and being a part of all of this, Wes.
Stephen, you have such an expansive talent! By that I mean that the talent in you is bursting at the seams like the rolled-up plans and other arcane effluvia in your father's office. Thank you for sharing a tender portrait of a beloved parent. Sonny, you GOT it!
Thank you, Sabeth. Dad could have such a rough exterior, but in truth was so sensitive. As I mentioned above, it's been fun to introduce so many people to my parents who never knew them, and also to keep them alive. Thanks for your kind words.
Great job on the story and you captured dad perfectly even with the voice. I remember us cleaning out that office. That was a crazy weekend!!
Thank you, Diane...and yes, that was one of the CRAZIEST of weekends amidst a series of crazy weekends, if memory serves.
After Art looked at the things we were putting in bags we sneakily dropped off some of the bags in dumpsters before they got to the house. He never knew he never missed them and still the garage was half full of bag.
I remember. It felt like we were just throwing things overboard of a sinking ship! I relate somehow...I have some of those traits of wanting to HOLD ON!!!
But not the table. You are holding it from afar!!
Yes! Shawn is holding on for all of us!!!
Great story.
Thank you, Kathleen.
Amazing story love this, the pictures and you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you!
I love this story!
Thank you, Caroline. High praise from the likes of you...
Your dad was his own kind of genius. You described him perfectly. Can't wait to hear more.
Thank you so much, Arlene! I've never thought of him that way, but I completely agree! Oh, that's just wonderful.
Every time I heard you imitate your Dad it sounded just like this. Feeling grateful to know you and be witness to some of your story, and to watch you succeed over and over. God DAMN it you are talented. Keep creating.